Dear Mireille, Great that you have a site about frizzy hair that is in NL. I have been a 'member' of your site for a long time. I am a chemical junkie, but I have always braided my hair. I always convinced myself that that is also 'natural'. So not!
Your site and the stories of subscribers have inspired me to wear my hair natural. Not so much because I chemically treat it, but more because I am done with the whole ritual of buying hair, untying it, washing it thoroughly and having it braided again. I spent two whole days doing that. And as soon as my braids were out, I felt incredibly bald. As soon as I finished braiding, I felt 'complete' again.
One of your subscribers wrote that she didn't understand why heavy women hang their entire identity on their hair. That they become a different person once they have that hair on their head.
Suddenly I was confronted with myself… I felt addressed, because I felt complete again as soon as I had that hair on my head. When I became aware of this, I started looking for all kinds of videos on YouTube of women who wear their hair natural, how they take care of it and how they can wear it all. I have seen beautiful hairdos. But if you divide my hair into the so-called hair types, I have hair type 4b. I have not seen many videos of that yet. I do know that my hair type has a lot of shrinkage and very little curl. But I think that with those hair types you also do a kind of categorization. As if 4b is less beautiful/good than type 3b (which has more curl waviness)
Anyway, I'm now growing my hair long to put in dreads or just leave it like that. Now my hair is still uneven because of a pregnancy. I also got some products from your shop. And you know what? For the first time I look at my hair and I find it beautiful and I want to be good to it. People of 'my own kind' often see me as white. Because I don't speak the language (Angolan/Portuguese) and because I speak Dutch without an accent (and maybe in their eyes my behavior, but I wonder, how can you act white?!) That makes me very sad, because if anyone has black awareness, it's me. I am actually incredibly proud and feel anything but white and absolutely do not want to be that way. They don't know what my interests are, what I think and what I feel... I really think it's a shame that your own people just try to keep you stupid... Don't be different, don't think differently and don't act differently, because before you know it you're white.
This whole story above is a very strange intro to my question (sorry to elaborate, but this affects me..) I have read some small pieces on your site about the history of black hair in America. That the slaves had to shave because the 'masters' could not see it. I also read a piece that some slaves looked so white by mixing with whites, but that their hair (frizzy) betrayed them that they were black and that is why they often shaved their hair (??) I would like to have more knowledge about this. Do you know books that I can consult that contain more information about the history of frizzy hair?
Many thanks in advance
ps i saw you on tv during the election of Obama. I think it was Pauw and Witteman? I thought you were great. I thought you had a very positive and enthusiastic vibe.
All the best!
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Hi Ludmilla,
What a lovely email. It is truly inspiring to read that black women find their frizzy hair beautiful and even more amazing that kroeshaar.com played a part in that.
You don't have to worry about your own people who think you're white. Surinamese people who don't know me have often told me that I'm "Dutch". It's all relative because some Dutch people think I'm very Surinamese. There's a good chance that both groups will now say that I'm very American now that I've been here for a while. My friends who know me, white, black and everything in between, they love me the way I am with all my bad habits and my frizzy hair. So be yourself and they will eventually accept you the way you are. There's nothing wrong with being proud of your roots.
There are a number of books that I can highly recommend to you and anyone who is interested:
Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America : tells about the history of afro hair, hair fashions and such. It is really a great book. I read it in one go. I don't know if it is available in the Netherlands.
Afro State of Mind, Memories of a Nappy Headed Black Girl , by Lurie Daniel Favors is an absolute gem! She literally describes her experience of going frizzy and links each phase to a phase in American history. For the record, Lurie is a friend of mine. It all started with a photo I took of her, which is on the cover of her book. That photo sparked a whole discussion on the internet about good and bad hair and inspired her to write the book. However, that is not why I recommend the book, it is just a really fantastic book that I would recommend even if she were not a friend of mine.
Bad Hair Uprooted: The Unknown History of Kinky Hair: is my latest publication with which I hope to give us a piece of lost history that not only explains why we have had to deal with hair breakage for so long and so much, but also hopefully helps us start to recover.
Anyway, good luck with your dreads and keep a blog on kroeshaar.com if you want.
Odi,
Mireille