Dear Mireille, Two years ago I stopped weaving. My hair reached the middle of my back. Due to enthusiasm and lack of knowledge, I relaxed my hair right away. You guessed it. Within no time I had problems with hair breakage. So bad, in fact, that I had to get scissors. My hair length was then just above my shoulders.
A few months later, the scissors went in again. This time with the intention of SHARPING my hair! But the hairdresser suffered from the happy-cutting-hairdresser-syndrome, because my hair was CUT. And also in a style, without consulting me in advance, with the result that my hair was as long as my neck. After this incident, I changed hairdressers!
My hair has grown again and it now reaches a little past my neck. It is nice and full, but it is not healthy! My hair is very dry, itchy scalp, dry ends and a hairline that is significantly “exhausted/affected”. Oh yes, I gave my hair an extra boost by also doing a coupe soleil. Relax and color? Oh yes, if my hair could drag me to court, they undoubtedly would!
I try to do a touch up every 4 months (not sooner). In 2 months it will be that time again. Only I don't want to relax anymore! I want to stop relaxing!!! Mi no wan moro!!
I've been relaxing since I was 12 and I'm 35 now. A kba now hor. I really don't see myself still relaxing in 10 years, but why wait another 10 years?
Besides the fact that relaxing destroys my hair (structure), I am now at the point where I want to embrace and cherish the original texture of my hair; I want to accept and love myself as I am and with what the Creator has given me: He has given me frizzy hair and not chemically treated hair.
I understand now better than ever that bad hair does not exist, only poorly cared for hair.
But I also realize to my shame that I don't even know my own hair! A no is possible. I no longer want to try to meet the so-called beauty ideal as presented by society (the industry). I only want to express the ideals that are present in my person and shape my life from there. And my appearance is a part of that!
Your site and many other sites/blogs are an inspiring example of how care, attention and love for your own hair can lead to healthy and beautiful FRIZZLY hair.
My question now. What are the possibilities to make the transition from relaxed hair to curly hair, without doing a big chop? A big chop is not excluded for me; I am willing to do it (I had my hair Halle-Berry-short in the past), but would like to know if there are any alternatives.
Sorry, very long message for me. But I had to write this. I sat down behind my computer somewhat nervously, to
that I feel I have reached a kind of “crossroads”. The more I think about it, the stronger the feeling becomes that I want to do something with it. I find it exciting!
Thank you in advance for your response.
Bless,
Audrey
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Dear Audrey,
Please do not apologize for your long email because I enjoyed your words. A really nice email that I truly experience as a compliment. So thank you for visiting kroeshaar.com. I am very happy to hear that you are inspired; you made my day.
Now, about your situation. I am very happy to hear how enthusiastic you are and that you experience this crossroads as exciting. My experience compels me to honestly say that going frizzy is a process. The funny thing is that you can destroy your carefully grown hair in one go, with or without a relaxer, coup de soleil or scissors, the fact is that it takes years for your hair to grow back.
The good news is that you don't have to cut it if you don't want to. You can see that on the cover of my book where my transformation is shown in pictures. Since you're tired of weaves I would try braiding with your own hair. You have two months of regrowth which should be enough to do flat twists, cornrows or other fun hairstyles.
These are all hairstyles you could make with your own hair. Of course you can also do a twist out, everyone likes the curls or else pipe curls.
The most important thing about going curly is to have fun. Get started with fun hairstyles. Expand your horizons, push your boundaries. Think outside the box and find what you like for you! Also make sure you find the products that work for your hair type along the way.
What I can highly recommend is the Clean Start . This treatment will give your hair and scalp a real boost. I know better than anyone how a dry scalp and dry hair feel
Only cut when you are really ready and don't let anyone tell you what to do. Advice is ok, but in the end you should be the one who decides how she wants to open. All I have to say now is Good luck and keep us posted!
Odi,
Mireille
