What would you say if I said you had frizzy hair? There are people who feel offended by this remark. For me, this was un-imaginable until recently. This is because these are people who do indeed have frizzy hair, but do not want to know about it and deny it. It seems as if they are ashamed of it. I myself have often been at my wits' end and sometimes I still go crazy because of my impenetrable forest, but I have never, but then again NEVER been ashamed of my frizzy hair. So you cannot possibly offend me by saying that I have frizzy hair.
What would you say if I said you had frizzy hair? There are people who feel offended by this remark. For me, this was un-imaginable until recently. This is because these are people who do indeed have frizzy hair, but do not want to know about it and deny it. It seems as if they are ashamed of it. I myself have often been at my wits' end and sometimes I still go crazy because of my impenetrable forest, but I have never, but then again NEVER been ashamed of my frizzy hair. So you cannot possibly offend me by saying that I have frizzy hair.
At first I thought that it was not so bad with us Surinamese. Mothers of a newborn whose first question was “what kind of hair does my child have”, I think only occurred in America. Unfortunately, the comments, quotes and emails that I receive speak volumes.
Frizzy hair is a curse, a hairdresser recently said in the Parool, a hairdresser who also calls herself a Black Hair specialist. I don't really need to relax because my hair isn't frizzy, you often hear. What does someone like that mean? That people with frizzy hair are obliged to relax? As far as I know, no one needs to relax, it's a choice. The comment "Frizzy hair doesn't run in our family" takes the cake. You'd almost think it's a disease.
Sometimes I didn't know what to do, sometimes I got angry and sometimes I felt deep disgust for someone who made such a remark. Now I realize that the shame that these people experience is a substitute for pain. The pain of frizzy hair that is inextricably linked to our history. The history that wanted us to believe that being black means being less valuable and that frizzy hair is bad hair. I have become painfully aware that these ideas are unfortunately still alive, even among our own people. It will probably take some time before the pain and shame have been completely processed. That is why I hope from the bottom of my heart that my book, this website and your contributions can help speed up the processing.