We can all vividly remember how our mothers used to do our hair. Whether or not we
We can all vividly remember how our mother used to do our hair. While we were fidgeting between mother's legs or not, our hair was combed. This image always brings back memories, good or bad, when the memories are recalled, there is always laughter. The fact is that no one ever forgets this time. That is because this seemingly innocent scene is very important for the formation of a child. It is a ritual that influences the relationship between mother and daughter and lays a foundation for the self-esteem and self-image of a child. Actually, you should say the relationship between parent and child. The story of a divorced father who only spent the summers with his daughter illustrates this.
The loving father proudly describes how he was able to build a close relationship with his daughter by teaching her how to comb her hair. By treating this time as quality time, he gained his daughter's trust and father and daughter grew closer almost unnoticed. To this day, father and daughter have a uniquely good bond and the hair memoirs of all the time they have ever spent together are still fresh in their memory.
Unfortunately, nowadays we see more and more young girls with relaxed hair because the parents say they don't have the time or patience to do their girls' hair. The message this sends to the child is clear: your hair is not pretty, impossible and takes too much time. Due to the permanent damage caused by relaxers, the girls' hair is usually in bad shape, which also does not contribute to their self-esteem and self-image. Because of all this, these children often experience frizzy hair as a "hebi*" and think they have bad hair.
The familiar scene of combing hair while feeling safe between mother's legs should therefore not be underestimated. This ritual is not only decisive for the feeling that the child develops towards her own frizzy hair. During this ritual, beauty ideals and other subconscious signals are also unconsciously transmitted, which are important for the development of a child's self-image and sense of self-worth. I would therefore like to call on all parents of children with frizzy hair to break through the "bad hair syndrome" and develop a positive frizzy hair feeling in their children. Do not regard combing your daughter's frizzy hair as a burden, but see it as quality time in this increasingly busy and hectic life. If you dread it, the child will sense it and will also dread combing her hair. If you enjoy it, the child will automatically enjoy it too. Take the time to comb the hair extensively with patience and love, it doesn't have to be every day, once a week or 2 weeks is enough. The result will be priceless: a closer relationship with a self-confident daughter.
* Hebi = burden
| The photographs are from Hair in African hair and culture, a publication of The Museum of African Art New York. |