A Surinamese friend of mine recently told me that he would never again just walk up to a Dutchman to ask for anything. Surprised, I asked, “Why not?”
A Surinamese friend of mine recently told me that he would never again just walk up to a Dutch person to ask anything. Surprised, I asked “why not?” to which he told me the following story. When he was studying in Boston, he once walked up to a Dutch fellow student. He asked “Hey, you’re Dutch, aren’t you?” I think it’s a fairly normal question and a normal action when you’re in a country where you hardly meet any people who speak the same language. Well, apparently not for this young man. He reacted very fiercely with “Don't you ever, and I mean EVER talk Dutch to me again!” (Never, but NEVER speak Dutch to me again, you hear!). This shocked my friend so much that he decided to call it quits. Although I can imagine the shock after such a reaction, I immediately thought, oh, that guy was just a bit crazy. Crazy might be too strong a word, but I think he does have a problem. It could be that he wants to pass as an American or that he is ashamed to be Dutch. Who knows? Still, I had to laugh at this story. It reminded me of an email I received a while ago.
In the email, the writer asked me if I could explain the “strange” reaction of a colleague of hers of Surinamese descent. She explained that she was certainly also familiar with frizzy hair issues. She was Antillean herself, but this really was the first time this had happened to her. She asked her colleague quite normally how often she relaxed her hair. In my opinion, a fairly normal question and a normal action if you live in a country where your hair type is unique. But apparently not for this lady. Aiaiai, oh, oh, oh, she should never have asked that. This “crazy” colleague reacted quite affected, I think at least as fiercely as the above-mentioned young man, “How can you ask me such a question? So close to other (white?) people.
Just like the above mentioned case with the young man, I have a strong suspicion that this colleague did everything possible to literally deny her “roots”. Whether you are born Dutch or have naturally curly hair, neither can be changed. You can throw a pot of burning straight on your head every day to smooth your hair and hide the natural watch springs, they will come back. You can speak American from today to tomorrow and even change your name to deny your origins, but it will always be a part of you.
It seems very sad to me to be so deeply unhappy, with a part that is inextricably linked to yourself. At first I was sad about the reaction of the aforementioned colleague with her "camouflage" hair, but after the story of that Dutch person, I was able to put it into context and even see the humor in both cases. Everyone has something and you can make it as heavy or as light as you want. I am happy with my frizzy hair and with my Surinamese origins. But make no mistake: "Every fool has his flaw."