Valley's Big Chop
Valley is a cyber/hair friend of mine. We first met in person at “Nappy day” in Manhattan. From the age of 6 her mother pressed her hair and at 9 she started relaxing it. And now at 23 she decided to give up relaxers and cut the relaxed part out of her hair.
“Back in 2000, a friend of mine tried to convince me to go “natural”, but I said, no, it’s not for me”; “I don’t know, then I’ll have to cut my hair, I don’t want that at all”. I had all kinds of excuses. When I was at the dermatologist last year for my sensitive skin, I casually asked him if he knew anything about dandruff. He asked if I relaxed. He saw that I also suffered from hair loss and advised me to stop relaxing. That did it for me. He said that he strongly discouraged relaxing anyway. These words from the mouth of an experienced dermatologist made me realize that it was really better for me to stop using chemicals.
At first I wanted to grow my hair out for a year, because I wanted some length. But after 8 months I was so “fat up” from those smooth ends and the constant tangling of my hair, that I decided to cut it off earlier. Every salon I went to for a wash they said “it’s time to relax, you need a touch-up”. That was very annoying, but it didn’t stop me from my goal to stop with that crap. Actually I wanted to do it before the nappy meeting, but I was too busy with my schoolwork. After the meeting I was even more inspired. All those beautiful hairstyles, all those possibilities, I wanted that too and I decided to do it right after my busy school period.
before cutting during after cutting
First I went looking for a hairdresser, actually a barber to cut my hair. Just cut out the smooth ends, I didn't really want a model. I don't think I'll wear it loose much, in an afro or something. I also wanted a nice hairstyle, like twists. According to one salon my hair wouldn't be long enough for twists and that's why they advised coils. I was a bit afraid of that. In the salon they showed me examples but I thought the women looked rather masculine with those coils. That didn't seem like something for me. I don't wear jewelry, the times I've ever put on make-up can be counted on one hand and I don't really dress femininely, no dresses and such. Still, I don't want to look like a man, that's why I wondered if those coils would suit me.
on the way to a new hairstyle we are almost there just cutting out the last bits of relaxer
I have also seen ladies with very short twists and that looks very nice. Sometimes it looked like an afro, but then again not, really very nice. Fortunately, the salon you recommended said that my hair was long enough for a twist. Fortunately, the salon was also a bit cheaper, a nice bonus for a student.
I followed your advice to wash and braid my hair before going to bed. It does indeed seem like an unpleasant prospect to have the hairdresser comb out my dry-feeling hair. Ouch, I can't bear the thought of it.
Despite all the advice and preparations I was still quite nervous and I could hardly sleep. With a pounding heart I sat down in the chair. It is not easy, actually a bit drastic, to have the hair you are used to cut off after so many years. Wow, I did not expect this but I was quite nervous. What if it did not suit me? I only knew my natural hair a little bit, actually only 8 months, what would it look like without the relaxed ends? I actually did not even know what my own hair looked like and also not what it would look like.
OK ladies, this is me now!
After the straight part was cut out of my hair I was a bit calmer, but it definitely took some getting used to. As the twists progressed a feeling of joy and freedom slowly came over me. When it was almost finished and I caught a glimpse of myself I was really overwhelmed by a feeling of happiness and could hardly contain my joy. Wow! I couldn't wait to see my friends that I hadn't told anything about. I hadn't told them anything and was curious about their reaction.
The result is certainly impressive! What freedom, how glad I am that I did this. It is truly indescribable. Now I understand what my girlfriend tried to tell me years ago. The reactions were very positive, which only strengthened me. I also try to persuade girlfriends now, but I hear the same thing I used to say: “It looks great on you, but it is not for me; I really could not cut my hair; my hair is too difficult”. In that respect, little has changed.
Anyway thanks for your advice and support. I love my hair!
Valley