An extensive interview about her motivation, the origin and background of kroeshaar.com
When and why did you start kroeshaar.com?
In 2003 I started kroeshaar.com, when my first book titled “Kroeshaar wat je moet weten en meer” (Frothy Hair What You Need to Know and More) was published. Initially I had set up the site because I was curious about the reactions to my book. It was the very first book about frizzy hair care and I had no idea how it would be received.
And how was the book received?
Fortunately, it was better than expected (laughing). Within two months, a second edition came out and I self-published my last book.
And the site has also grown in the meantime, I see?
You can say yes. In the very beginning it was more of a forum. Then I started adding photos and articles to make it more fun and attractive and when it turned out that there was mainly interest in products I started the webshop.
It all looks nice and all, but what is your goal? Selling products? Showing nice pictures?
I wish it were that simple (laughing). Besides kroeshaar.com I also run the website http://going-natural.com . The goal behind both websites is a broader social acceptance of kinky hair.
Is that necessary?
More than necessary, it is essential. A disproportionately large percentage of frizzy haired women suffer from hair breakage and hair loss due to what is called in America “Relaxer induced alopecia”. This means hair loss due to the (mis)use of relaxers that are used to smooth frizzy hair.
If defrizzing is so bad why do so many women do it?
This is a complicated story. On the one hand, because frizzy hair styles are still not really accepted in, for example, the business world. That makes it quite difficult for women to make the choice to wear their hair frizzy. The underlying cause, however, is, in my opinion, shame and sadness.
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Can you explain that?
Negative comments about frizzy hair hurt us deeply, without us being able to place the feelings. We do not know why these comments affect us so intensely. Some women are ashamed of their frizzy hair as if it were a disgrace to have frizzy hair. It is a mix of barely fathomable emotions that can only be explained by looking back at our history of slavery. African hair has been stigmatized and systematically denigrated from the beginning. Frizzy hair hairstyles were not allowed to be shown in public because they were seen as offensive and unattractive.
The pain that caused was never processed and those ideas are still alive in principle. We are the only race on earth that has to go to court to get the right to wear our hair naturally. That is sad. So it is not surprising that women are ashamed of their frizzy hair because that is what society subtly or not subtly teaches.
But isn't that true for women in general, of any race? They do all sorts of things with their hair to meet the prevailing beauty standard, don't they? Women with straight hair also wear braids and perms and color just as much.
Yes and I am not necessarily against doing fun things with her. The fact is that of all peoples, frizzy haired women are really at the top when it comes to hair loss and we need to start thinking about that.
Almost all of my straight haired friends have done perms or something. One curly haired friend even relaxed. The difference is that she stopped immediately because her hair broke. We are the only ones who continue until our hair is irreparably destroyed.
A whopping 73% of black women suffer from hair breakage and hair loss and no one ever talks about it. To solve the problem you have to ask yourself why. It is a kind of taboo that women are ashamed of and our hair roots suffer from it literally and figuratively.
That sounds pretty intense. Is kroeshaar.com going to solve all that?
Yes, ha ha, if only it were true. No, of course this takes time. If you only mention the word slavery, people will run away quickly. With kroeshaar.com I strive to create a more positive image of our hair and to make it clear to women that they do not have to defrizz it to look beautiful and presentable. Hopefully this is a start to start thinking about the choices we make. Especially in this day and age where natural alternatives in nutrition and lifestyle are preferred.
Have you ever relaxed yourself?
Yes, and quite a long time. From the age of 15, about 8 years on and off.
Why did you yourself ever relax for so long?
The most honest answer I can give you is that I didn't know any better. For me it was just a given; if you have frizzy hair as a girl you relax when you're old enough. The first time I loved it too. I had an afro before so straight hair was a whole different look and I really loved it. I felt like a whole lady.
When I think back on it now, the beauty quickly wore off. Except when I came from the hairdresser, my hair never looked good, because I worked out about 3 times a week. I hated putting in rollers, I hated the hairdryer and I couldn't blow-dry at all.
So straight hair wasn't really my thing, but I did it out of habit, because I really didn't know what else to do with my frizzy hair.
But at least you thought it was great to relax at first. So you can understand why women want to relax, right? Even though you didn't know any better, you were happy with your new look.
I get it very well. It's fun to have a different hair color, wear a haircut that's trendy or go for a completely different look. That space, having fun and what you can do with your hair, I don't want to deprive any woman of that.
With kroeshaar.com I hope to contribute to the possibilities. That will hopefully lead to more hair fun. Now straight hair seems almost the only alternative and straight hair can be fun, but there is much more. When you see those hairstyles here in Brooklyn, you flip out. I would like to promote those unknown beautiful alternatives. Especially for those who no longer enjoy their hair because it has started to break and fall out.
So that's why you stopped relaxing?
Yes, I stopped because my hair started to break a lot. Up until then I took my hair for granted because I thought it would grow back anyway. To get my hair healthy I started braiding. Then my hair grew well and then I thought I could finally relax again, but every time I relaxed again my hair broke.
I tried everything, "touching up" on time, the mildest relaxer, weekly cream, but my hair kept breaking. At one point I really thought if I continue like this I'll be bald before I'm 30. Then I stopped. But I wasn't so obsessive and compulsive about getting my hair straight before it dawned on me that I really had to stop.
But isn't it also a form of convenience? Women say that it costs a lot to care for frizzy hair and braid it and such. Braiding takes much more time, right?
Braiding does take a lot of time, but it is “low maintenance”. When I wear my hair braided, I don’t have to comb it for 2 months. Just wash it, use moisturizer and my hair always looks good, what could be easier than that? The most important thing is that my hair grows better and is really healthier. For example, I never wear “micro braids”, those really thin little braids. It really takes forever to braid hair that thin and your hair breaks.
So I spend less time braiding than relaxing. My braider does my hair in 3 to 4 hours, relaxing it always takes me at least 4 hours and I haven't even mentioned the weekends that I had to condition my hair, put it under the dryer and the daily tongs and blow-drying.
But let's be honest; doesn't caring for relaxed hair take less time than frizzy hair if you don't braid it?
No, really not. I once calculated how much time it takes to care for relaxed hair. Weekly washing, creaming and then either putting rollers and under the hood dryer, or blow-drying or tongs. Washing/creaming takes about an hour, because the cream usually has to soak in for half an hour. Putting rollers takes another half hour and the hood dryer at least an hour. So you lose at least 2 1/2 hours a week. And I haven't even mentioned the daily things, if it has rained or you have done sports, you have to "quickly" roll or tong again. If you make a nice hairstyle with naturally frizzy hair such as twists or corn rows, you can certainly do it for a week to 2. So caring for frizzy hair really does not take more time, as so many people think.
Ok, maybe it doesn't take more time when you calculate it like that, but isn't relaxed hair easier than frizzy hair? You yourself say that you started relaxing again because you didn't know how to deal with your hair.
Yes, but there was also a time when I had to learn how to put in rollers and pliers, but putting in rollers is not easier than making twists, blow-drying is not easier than braiding. No way. A lot of people think that relaxed hair is easier because they are used to it. What is difficult is changing a pattern that you are used to.
In what way do you think you can bring about change or achieve your goal with kroeshaar.com?
I think kroeshaar.com itself is a good basis to spread a beautiful, realistic and positive image of kinky hair. It is a growing platform where women can not only get information and products. They can even contribute by for example commenting, uploading their hair story or just asking questions.
In addition, this year there is the Miss Kroeshaar election . It is an online competition that should be fun but also raise awareness.
Last but not least, I do exhibitions here in America that also include workshops. The exhibition is loosely translated “Bad hair at its best.” These are beautiful kinky hair styles that I captured during my first summer here in Brooklyn. I had never seen such beautiful hairstyles and I was just overwhelmed by a feeling that the rest of the world had to see these hairstyles. It is a rare collection and I am happy that I can do exhibitions. The images do the same thing that kroeshaar.com does but in real life; highlighting the beauty and versatility of kinky hair.