Hi! I have a question about frizzy, curly, relaxed and all sorts of things. I have relaxed my hair since I was young. I have weaved, braided and relaxed. I have been tired of weave for a while now so I don't do that anymore. And I try to get nice hair with relaxed hair, but I can't.
My hair is stiff even though I add moisture by deep conditioning every 2 weeks. I try not to use much heat so I airdry. My hair doesn't really feel dry or anything it's just so stiff.
It's also medium length and I can't do much with it. I can never wear it down because it's so ugly stiff. I'm thinking of cutting the whole thing off and starting braiding it until it's a good length and starting with natural, but I'm going to make a mistake there too.
I am not someone who takes a lot of care of my hair. I don't want to spend a whole day washing my hair. I prefer to wash it with conditioner and just let it dry and when it is dry I can still do something with it instead of just putting it in a ponytail. I read all kinds of stories from other people about their success with relaxed or natural hair, but... I really don't know what to do... :(
gr, Joselina
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Dear Joselina,
Your story takes me right back to the time when I relaxed. My hair was statically stiff, broke all over and I was desperate. Maybe your hair doesn't break but I know better than anyone how you feel. Hopefully it will help you on your way if I tell you how I tackled it.To start with I was just like you fed up and ready to cut my hair off. However, that never happened because the natural hairdresser didn't do that at the time. She said the hair will fall out by itself. That is true but now I know that it is better to cut off piece by piece if you don't want to cut it all off at once. The choice is yours.
Although I didn't cut it short, I wasn't afraid to walk around with short hair. My hair was so badly broken in the middle that I couldn't do much with it. So I walked around with small "Motjo Koembas". These are braids that you tuck in. You can compare them a bit with bantu knots.
I had the braids done every two weeks and the third week I would redo them myself so that I could learn how to deal with my own hair.
My hair has never grown so fast in that time. Of course that was because I had stopped using relaxers but also because I used better products. I no longer dumped half a jar of hair grease on my head but just used a good shampoo, conditioner and a hair cream similar to the Silky Shea Hair Butter .
Braiding is of course also an option, but then you have to sit for a very long time to put it in and although you hardly spend any time on care, it takes even longer to take them out.
What I honestly think might be the best option for you is to loc your hair. You could do Sisterlocks or Braidlocs so you don't have to cut it or you could cut it short and do more traditional locs. In the picture on the left you can see what Sisterlocks look like. Here is a list of hairdressers that you can go to for different types of locs: Hair Salons
If you just want to stay relaxed I would recommend ordering the Herbal Shampoo and the Detox Conditioner for a deep cleanse. You will notice that your hair feels much looser and more supple. This is because the detox absorbs the build-up that makes your hair feel stiff. Also try the Silky Shea Hair Butter for daily care. The butter also protects very well against heat. I think you are then ready for a new beginning. Remember that all beginnings are difficult. Whether you choose locs, a short cut or the longer road of transformation, everything will take time to get used to. Good luck!
Odi,
Mireille
