The interpersonal traffic between men and women is a hot topic. Two men and a woman were talking. The woman thought it should be possible for a woman to have a platonic friendship with a man, while she is married, living together or in a LAT relationship. Girlfriends are accepted, so why not a platonic friend. The friend would be allowed to come home if she were living together, he would then only be an acquaintance of her husband.
Women too sometimes act unjustifiably paranoid when another woman gets too close to their husband. Why do men and women see the opposite sex as a threat to their relationship, when that is not the case?
This caused hilarity in the group. Both men thought it was unacceptable. Mister X said: “I can totally see it happening when I come home and my wife is sitting on the couch with a man, I wouldn’t stand for that”. Mister Y thought that this was the problem of the Surinamese woman who is becoming increasingly westernized. The woman countered this statement and said, “No, I am realistic and this has nothing to do with westernization. Imagine that I get rid of all my friends and after a year my relationship ends, then I am completely alone. Partners will have to communicate with each other, so both man and woman will be prepared if there is a platonic friend. Why do partners forbid each other to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex?
There are also men who only want a friendship relationship with a woman and nothing more! Isn't it absurd that a man only tolerates a woman as a girlfriend and suppose that your wife's girlfriend is a lesbian, does the man also feel threatened? The opposite can also happen, the woman's husband's friend is gay and promptly falls in love with him? People, it's 2016!
Tempers flared and friend Hendrik joined them, the proposition was put to him. Hendrik said: “People, I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like childish scenes. Are you going with a sixteen-year-old or with an adult man or woman? I have a past and my wife must take this into account. A man as a platonic friend should be possible, but he must keep an appropriate distance. This must be noticeable in a respectful interaction with my wife, the way he talks and behaves. My wife must be able to indicate her boundaries. We no longer live in ancient times”. Man and woman must have respect for each other and trust each other”.
The woman in the company said: “Heheee, finally an enlightened thinker! Often people in a love relationship think that they are each other’s property. This possessive and sometimes extremely jealous behavior is the basis for escalations in love relationships with sometimes murder, suicide and criminal behavior as a result. People can go too far when they become jealous. The person who exercises possessiveness encourages the man or woman to act underhandedly, because they feel oppressed in the relationship and this also creates secrets from each other.
“Just look at the man!, do you mean to tell me that you don't have female partners? Don't women fool themselves into thinking that a man only looks at her and only has her as a wife, girlfriend or buddy? It is an illusion to think that it is so simple, that is why it is difficult to accept when the relationship ends, especially when you see someone as your possession. Jealousy can really flare up then. It would be more realistic to assume that men and women can be friends with each other without this posing a threat to their lasting love relationship. Just indicate your boundaries well”.
After the woman's tirade, the men looked around in bewilderment. Mister X shook his head and said "Baja, I don't know what to do, I know what to do, that I don't want to give a man my oso leki mati fu mi vrouw, I don't want to give him puspusi fu luku merki, no way"…….
Peggy Anise
p.anijs@chello.nl