Iris
A journey from decision to a decision
As I told you in October I started wearing dreadlocks. There is no turning back. The reason I waited a while to write my story was because I wanted to store all the impressions well and experience enough to be able to build a story around it.
My decision
After walking around with an afro that was getting bigger and thicker I started thinking about what I wanted to do with my hair. Cutting my hair has definitely done me good, I have not regretted it for a single moment. There was one day that I was short on time to style my hair before I left the house in the morning and thought back to the 'so-called' ease with straight hair, but that thought did not stick with me to the point that I longed for the old life with straightened hair. After eleven years my hair could do whatever it wanted and it still feels like a liberation.
Dreadlocks have always fascinated me over the years, I find it inspiring how people both white and colored present this hairstyle. Some reactions and comments I have heard, when I polled the opinions about dreadlocks in my environment and in the media, are: You can never loosen dreads again? You can never do your hair differently, it is always the same style? If you want something different again you have to cut your hair 'again', you can't find a job like that? You can't wash your hair then, it will quickly look unkempt, oh a girl with dreads and do you know for sure what you are getting into?
There have only been a few people who have responded positively out of enthusiasm. In short; if I had listened to the majority of the responses from my environment and or had let myself be guided by them and or assisted in making a choice, then I would have had straight hair up to now and I would not have felt the way I felt now. When I look at the photos I have from my period with straight hair, I look like a completely different person with my frizzy hair. It now seems as if I have never had long hair. It is the people around me who remind me of it and the photos from that time that confirm how I looked back then.
My hair grew and grew after I cut it and as time went on I needed more time to style it the way I wanted it to be when I went out in the morning. I didn't see this as a disadvantage, more as a reflection of the fact that my frizzy hair had a mind of its own and I started to appreciate it more and more by not relaxing it anymore. Knowing that dreadlocks are a hairstyle based on frizzy hair I started to look more into wearing dreadlocks. I wanted to know if I could relate to that lifestyle and if it would suit me as a person. I did some research on the internet for this, just as I did when deciding to cut my hair and bought a few books that related to dreadlocks for more information.
The hairdresser's reaction!
In July I had my hair cut by my cousin who is also my hairdresser. In October I went to her again to have my hair twisted. When I told her about my decision to get dreadlocks she asked me if I wanted this with extensions, I indicated that I wanted locks with my own hair, the ones that will never come loose again and that I was not planning on wearing extensions now. Her first reaction was; whether I was sure what I wanted and whether my mother knew about it. That was not the case with my first haircut (mom thought I was going to braid my hair, I had also let her believe that because she had stopped me from cutting it, I also noticed that from her reaction when I got home) she has since recovered from the shock : – ). My cousin also indicated that she has never seen my dreadlocks in court (because of my studies).
I then told her that I would become a plumber. That remark made me realize that there is a certain resistance and reservation about dreadlocks, but this did not stop me from making my decision.
In the chair at the hairdresser's: no sooner said than done;
When I arrived at the barbershop I was of course asked a few times if I was sure. Just like before, the hairdresser had to drink some courage before starting her task. As is usually the case with the hairdresser, there is always chatting about everything and anything and acquaintances and strangers chat with each other.
When I was at the hairdresser, there was a young girl with her mother who both came to do their hair. The daughter had very beautiful long hair and came to straighten it….the hairdresser indicated that I used to have longer hair than her daughter and that I had recently cut it off, now came back for dreadlocks and that I was studying. The mother of that girl replied that it is crazy that young girls these days do not know what they want to do with their hair and suggested how I thought I could find a job in the future.
What I really didn't want was a stranger calling me crazy and telling me what I should or shouldn't do with my hair.
I subtly answered her that the way I want to wear my hair does not detract from my intelligence. However, I was shocked by my reaction. Later I realized that my reaction shows that in a short time I have experienced how people who only have negative things to say about you as a person based on your appearance and or the way you want to present yourself, are not the people you should surround yourself with of your own free will, these are in my opinion also the people who do not (cannot) let you be who you want to be and can indirectly ensure that you do not dare to make choices for yourself.
In total I spent three hours at the hairdresser to twist my hair. I still had some straight ends in my hair, but the hairdresser didn't think it was necessary to cut them out. Because of the first haircut my hair fell in a nice model, a kind of bob line, so nothing else had to be changed.
Care:
Since I went to the hairdresser I haven't gone back. I now take care of my hair myself, mainly because I want to master treating my hair myself and find out how I can best care for it. Tips and advice from the hairdresser and/or experienced professionals are always welcome. Retwisting my hair is and remains a chore, but I don't experience it as uncomfortable. In the beginning it took some getting used to, but now I've come a long way. I wash my hair once every two weeks. In between, I make sure my scalp stays clean by cleaning it with Herbal Cleanse solution from Organic and by oiling it regularly. I care for the hair itself with a moisturizer and leave-in conditioner. That way it doesn't dry out. I also do my best to massage my scalp every day to stimulate blood circulation.
The current state of affairs:
It has been over 2 months since I had my hair twisted to finally have it locked. It is remarkable to see how my hair does what it wants to do, without chemicals and or excessive heat sources such as curling irons and or straighteners. In the meantime, I have immersed myself in two books about dreadlocks and from which I get various tips regarding maintenance such as; washing and twisting, of my locks. My hair does what it wants to do and at the same time I know what I can do to somewhat control this process. I experience having dreadlocks as a journey that not only brings about a lot in terms of appearance but also internally. I do not only see it as a trend but as a lifestyle. Partly because of this I have found inner peace and I can more easily ignore 'negative' comments from others. Of course, all of this is entirely personal and is most likely different for everyone. I can only speak from my own experience. Wearing dreadlocks allows me to be free in my actions and above all to let nature take its course, I am a witness to this in my own way and I am honored to be able to witness it.